Give Me The Sun
by Nalanzu
Summary: Sasuke doesn't seem to ever want to listen to Naruto, and Naruto finally has him cornered. Warnings: implied shounen ai, character death.
1. Give Me The Sun: Uzumaki Naruto

**Give Me The Sun – Uzumaki Naruto**

Look at me. Open your eyes and look at me. Look, look, look! I'm right here! I know why you're doing this. You're ignoring me because I'm loud and obnoxious. You won't pay attention to me because I'm not like you. You kick my ass on a regular basis, and I know it, even if I won't admit it. I'll become strong enough for you, though. I will. Just you wait. 

It's all for you. It wasn't at first. I hated you. I still hate you. You're cold and arrogant and better than I am. Everybody likes you, even when you treat them like dirt. I hate that, too, that it's so easy for you to gain acceptance. Poor Sasuke, his clan all died, he has no family. 

Neither do I. 

Look at me, dammit! Look at me when I talk to you! Am I that far beneath you? You're cold. Your body is cold, I mean. Your attitude is always the same. I guess I don't expect it to change now. Here. Maybe the blanket will help. 

You could at least say thank you. 

...I guess that is asking too much from the Great Uchiha Sasuke. Bastard. Don't you understand? They're all... they... 

You know, Kakashi-sensei's name is going to be on that stone now. You know, the one he showed us when he tested us for the very first time? And he said his best friends' names were on it. Maybe it would make him happy to know that he's going to join them. I don't know. Do you think Sakura and Ino will ever... 

You don't care. You could answer me, you know. Just once. 

You're going to pay attention to me. You will. I'll make you pay attention to me. You can't ignore me, Sasuke, you're all I've got left. You can't. Don't... 

... 

Did you see what happened later? I'm not sure how long it was before you... But I know that it didn't take them long. They came in with the sunrise. All the color framing masked faces, all in black. No identifying marks. I looked. Kakashi-sensei would have been proud of me. We were waiting – no, you and Sakura were waiting for him. 

I was late. 

I didn't think it mattered, since Kakashi-sensei is always late anyway. I was wrong. I was so wrong. Are you listening to me yet, Sasuke? Anyway, I saw them come over the roofs and I shouted. I told them I was going to stop them. It raised the alarm, I guess. 

I... I remember fighting. I remember Kakashi-sensei telling me to get back, to find you and Sakura and warn you guys. But I wasn't fast enough. I wasn't fast enough. Sakura... Her hair was red. So red. Red and soaked. She was always so careful with her hair, but I don't think red is her color... 

You're still cold, Sasuke. Maybe if I build a fire... No, help will come soon, and I want to stay here until it does. That's funny. My hand... it's sticky. I wonder why. 

Where was I? 

It doesn't really matter. I remember closing Kakashi-sensei's eyes. It was weird, seeing him with both eyes open at the same time. Ever notice he only uses the Sharingan eye when he fights? He keeps the other one shut. 

... 

Did you see Iruka-sensei? I... I'm a little ... worried. He didn't answer when I yelled for him. And I called for a long time, I really did. He... Red isn't his color, either. 

Maybe you'll answer him, since you won't talk to me. It's not nice of you to ignore me. Dammit, Sasuke, why won't you just... just... 

I want to know who did this. I want to know so we can track them down. I don't care if it's a shinobi's destiny to die. All these people... everyone... It's not fair! It isn't! We have to avenge them, Sasuke. You and I. We can do it. I know we can. And I'll prove to you that I'm good enough. 

I'm good enough for you, I'm good enough for Hidden Leaf Village, even if they don't know it. But you will. I'll make you acknowledge me. I can prove it, Sasuke. I can prove it to you. Just as soon as you answer me. 

Come on, Sasuke. Even if you don't like me, you have to want to get revenge. Or justice. I don't care what you call it. You have to. You hunted your brother. I know you can feel it. It's more important than why you don't like me! Listen, damn you, listen! 

Don't... Stop ignoring me, Sasuke. You're the only one. You're all I have left now. You can't just ... You have to listen, you have to pay attention to me. Please, Sasuke. Do you want to hear me beg? You probably do, you bastard, and when I – 

Did you hear that? It sounded like... those are shinobi! They won't touch you. This time I'll protect you instead of you rescuing me, how's that? ...fine. Don't answer. See if I care. You'll see. I'm Uzumaki Naruto! 

... 

Stop! What the hell do you think you guys're doing here? ...oh! My friend, he needs help, but he won't answer me. No, you have to help him! No! He's not! You're lying! I know you're lying to me! Help him! HELP HIM! 

Let go of me! Sasuke! Sasuke! Let me go, you bastards! I'm not leaving him until you help him! Get away from me! No! Not me! Him! He needs me! You can't make me leave! No! Sasuke---! 

* * *

"Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura turned worried green eyes towards him. "Is he going to be all right?" Naruto was Naruto, after all, and fairly indestructible. Whatever life threw at him, he always bounced right back. "He moved, right? And spoke? That means he'll wake up soon, right?" She tried to ignore the fact that Naruto had been calling for someone to help Sasuke. 

Sasuke himself stood by the window, tension lining his shoulders. He did not – or could not – look at Naruto. 

"...no." Kakashi's voice was soft. "I'm sorry, Sakura." 

"But he..." Sakura reached towards the once-again still and silent boy. 

"It means nothing." Softness masked steel. Kakashi was implacable and Sakura knew it. "I brought you both here to... say goodbye." The mask Kakashi habitually wore hid most of his expression, and Sakura distantly wondered if this was maybe why he wore it. 

"I... see," she said, though her inner thoughts were screaming denial. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Sasuke visibly flinch. 

"You said..." Sasuke began in a voice that was so flat that Sakura barely recognized it. 

"We all knew that the chakra of the demon fox might one day have this effect." Sakura wasn't sure, but Kakashi looked ...sad? "It was a risk we had to take." 

"To drive him insane before you kill him?" Sasuke spat, whipping around to face Kakashi. Anger roiled off him in waves. "How could –" 

"Sasuke..." Kakashi began. 

The anger faded to nothing in the space of an instant. Sasuke's clenched fists opened and he turned toward the window once more. "I don't care." He looked at Naruto directly for the first time since entering the room. "He's nothing more than an obnoxious loudmouth, anyway." Sasuke turned abruptly on his heel and strode out, as if he could deny the break in his pain-filled voice by distancing himself as quickly as possible. 

Sakura closed her eyes for a moment. She bent over Naruto, smoothed the still-bright hair off his forehead, and laid a kiss on his cheek. "Goodbye, Naruto." 

She followed Sasuke without looking back.

_tsuzuku_


	2. Heavy Glow: Hatake Kakashi

Heavy Glow – Hatake Kakashi 

Uzumaki Naruto is a hero.

The Fourth Hokage must have known of the possibility that Naruto would have been unable to contain the demon fox.  The sealing jutsu he used is dependant on the will of the vessel containing the seal; it is simultaneously its strength and weakness.  As he grew into… not adulthood.  Naruto never reached adulthood.  As Naruto grew older, he certainly didn't lack strength of will, and so the rest of us, if we considered it at all, thought ourselves safe.

When I look back, I know that the Yondaime made the best choice he could under the circumstances, even though it required the sacrifice of a child.  Some of us knew he wanted us to regard the boy as a hero, but it was difficult.  And yet, as I taught him, I began to understand.

The fox was part of Uzumaki Naruto; it showed in his mischievous pranks and in his energetic nature.  It was also a completely separate entity, desperately struggling to escape.  It must have been difficult, but perhaps Naruto so accustomed to restraining the fox that he considered it normal.

The day he tapped into its chakra, I was certain that once again the fox had been unleashed.  It overwhelmed him seemingly completely, plunging his aura into red violence and hatred.  Yet he stopped it, leashed it without a second thought.  It was at that moment, after twelve years watching and waiting, that I knew we were safe.

Konohagakure no Sato is still safe, and Naruto… will never be hurt again.

I should have known something was wrong the first day he was late; none of my charges are ever late, even if I am.  It teaches them punctuality and patience, among other things.  He came running up, muttered something about a nightmare, and smiled his usual smile.  I didn't press the issue then.  I wish I had; maybe then it wouldn't have been too late.  It might still have changed nothing, but my conscience would at least be clear.

He altered further, after that.  He became distracted, lacking in focus.  He started to forget small things; incidents, appointments, details of conversation.  But since I was no longer directly responsible for him, I assumed he had been spoken too.  True, I had other responsibilities, but my lack of action was inexcusable.  

It was left to Sakura to call my attention to the situation.  Naruto had failed to show up for a mission.  For all his recent tardiness, he had never actually been remiss in his duties, and she was worried.  I told her to carry on without him, and that I would take care of Naruto.

He didn't answer his door; it was shut, but not locked.  I opened it and walked inside, not wanting to invade his privacy.  He was curled up, facing the wall.  At first glance, he appeared to be asleep, but I could see him shaking.  Just before I spoke, I heard his voice.

"Kakashi-sensei… I can't open my eyes."

There was no way he could have known it was me.  I froze.  "Naruto-kun?"  It was one of the few times I used the suffix on his name.

He turned over, so I could see his face.  I thought at first that his eyes were bleeding, until I realized that the red streaks were visible chakra, leaking from underneath his tightly shut eyelids.  "Kakashi-sensei…" He stood clumsily and moved unerringly towards me.  "Why can I still see, Kakashi-sensei?"

"What do you see, Naruto?"  I tried to keep my voice perfectly level.

"Chakra…" he whispered.  "Everywhere…"

I caught him as he fell and the red faded out.  It was at that point that I was forced to acknowledge something had gone terribly wrong.  

It only got worse; the doctors and those skilled in the interpretation of chakra both said that the energy from the fox was starting to slowly poison Naruto.  The Yondaime had once said something like that could occur, but… it happened so much later than we thought it might.

He just stared straight ahead when I told him, as if he didn't want to hear it.  I don't think he ever really accepted what the fox's chakra would do to him.

I took Naruto home the next night, as the hospital could do nothing for him.  I thought he'd be more comfortable in a familiar setting.  I don't know if it helped or not; he was placed on indefinite inactive status and, despite efforts on the parts of Sakura, Sasuke, and myself to the contrary, spent much of the next few days sulking.  He had nightmares; I'm certain of it, although he refused to discuss them.

Both Sakura and Sasuke came by fairly often; Sakura to see how Naruto was feeling, and Sasuke ostensibly to request training.  He watched Naruto out of the corner of his eye, though, and Naruto knew it.  He finally stepped up to Sasuke and challenged him to a fight.  I didn't want to permit it, but I felt it might help Naruto.  Perhaps, I thought, it would help him put things in a clearer light, and help him reach some peace within himself.

Once again, I made a mistake.

The fox ripped its way through Naruto's control and nearly killed Sasuke.  As brilliant a fighter as the progeny of the Uchiha clan is, he didn't stand a chance.  I think he realized then that there was no hope for Naruto; as I restrained the traces of the fox that had managed to escape, he simply watched, empty-eyed.  And despite the realization, he didn't accept the inevitable either.

It was shortly after that fight that Naruto began to see things that weren't there.  Sasuke had left only a few minutes earlier; he spent an inordinate amount of time with Naruto.  I think he felt that he could somehow heal Naruto through sheer willpower, if he could only convince him to hold on.  He invariably left disappointed and angry, but he always returned.  It was incredibly painful to watch, but a shinobi must suppress emotion.  We must.  There is no other choice.

Just after Sasuke left, Naruto shouted in surprise.  I asked him what was wrong.  He was standing in a fighting position, energy gathering in his body, but the only person near him was myself.  Breathing heavily, he looked wildly from me off to my left.  "Gaara!  It's Gaara of the desert!"

Obviously, this was an impossibility.

"There's no one there, Naruto," I told him as gently as possible.

"He's standing _right there_!"  Naruto motioned.  He was terrified.

"Naruto." I stepped between him and whatever he saw.  "I'm the only one here.  I promise."

It took me a while to convince him that Gaara wasn't real.  He calmed down when he believed me, slept a little.  I took him back to the hospital when he woke up.  They refused to let me take him home again, saying he would only get worse, that I couldn't possibly take care of him.

He begged me not to leave him there, but I had no choice.  By that time, we knew it wouldn't be long until he… was lost completely.  I spent as much time as I could with him, but he recognized me less and less as time went on.  When he finally slipped into a coma, Sasuke lost hope.  He thought he could somehow save Naruto, right up to just before the end.  Sakura, too, held on to hope longer than I thought possible.

Telling the two of them the truth was one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do.

I can't shake the feeling that I should have prevented this.  Against the fox itself, during Naruto's infancy, during his childhood, when he was my student, after he passed the Chuunin exam… I should have known it would happen and made sure it would not.  I know it's wrong to entertain this emotion, but I cannot do otherwise.  It's too late, anyway.  He's gone.

Steps have now been taken to ensure that the fox cannot escape.  Despite Naruto's death, it will not trouble us again.

_tsuzuku_


	3. Show You The Way: Uchiha Sasuke

**Show You The Way - Uchiha Sasuke**

_It wasn't your fault, Kakashi-sensei. It was mine._

Sasuke ran his hand over the name carved into the stone, the edges fresh and raw under his questing fingers. He couldn't read it, now. 

_You weren't the only one who didn't see what was going on. You weren't the one that really looked at him, afterwards, and pronounced him safe._

He tilted his head back slightly, and let the cool, smoke-tainted wind blow over his face. As the successor of the Uchiha Clan, possessor of the Sharingan, he had been among those who had made certain the fox was sealed. 

_Was it something I did wrong? It doesn't matter._

He'd wanted to believe that he was a genius ninja, skilled in combat as well as in all other areas. Arrogance and shortsightedness had led to where he stood now. 

_If I, as his teammate and friend, couldn't see what was wrong, how could you?_

That Naruto had… That he had died was bad enough; the essence of the fox had eaten away at what he was, slowly enough to be excruciatingly painful and yet quickly enough to offer at least some sort of twisted mercy. The best shinobi in Konohagakure no Sato had then sealed the fox's energy; once, twice, thrice, and finally the fourth time. 

_Four. The number of death. Perhaps that was our mistake._

Hearing a sound, Sasuke turned to face it, but could discern nothing. The clearing remained silent, and so he allowed himself to sink into thought again. 

_I know how much you blamed yourself, Kakashi-sensei. If you hadn't… if you'd been thinking clearly… Maybe you wouldn't have done what you did. Maybe you'd still be alive._

The Leaf shinobi had rallied valiantly against the fox, unexpected though its return was. Or perhaps not so unexpected. Kakashi had certainly been prepared. 

_You got the Hokage to safety when the Anbu were still trying to figure out what was going on. And then you led the attack against it. I should have been there. Why didn't you wait for me?_

The first strike against the fox had been so close to success. Kakashi had led a ridiculously small number of exceptional shinobi to act as a decoy to buy the village the time it needed to prepare. It would have been successful, had he not then done the unthinkable. 

_We were taught to control our emotions, Kakashi-sensei. You forgot that._

Sasuke rubbed a hand over his eyes. He'd arrived paradoxically too late to help but in just enough time to witness Kakashi's final moments. 

_You were the one that told me not to attempt a jutsu without enough chakra to accomplish it! But then you tried to harness the fox and seal it before anyone else got there. Before anyone else was hurt by it. You knew you were going to die, didn't you? And you didn't care. I could have lived with that… if you'd succeeded._

Warmth stole over his face; the sun had finally come up and with it, the wind had shifted. He could hear the sounds of the battle now; the screams and cries of the Leaf shinobi, the dull roar of the burning village. 

_It's been three days since then, Kakashi-sensei. I don't know how we're going to defeat the fox this time._

Sasuke started to walk carefully towards the sounds. 

"What do you think you're doing, Sasuke?" 

The voice belonged to Ino. She'd been markedly cooler to him since the fox had slaughtered both her teammates. He couldn't blame her for it. 

"I have to fight." He continued towards the battle. 

"You're in no condition to fight." He could hear her limping after him. She wasn't doing so well herself; she'd all but lost her left leg and the use of her left hand. Since there was no way she could fight the fox, she'd been set to guarding him instead. 

"I'm in better condition than you are." It was a cruel statement, but it was true. 

"Sasuke!" She sounded determined. 

"I'm sorry." He closed his eyes and began to run, trusting to memory and his other senses to guide him. There was no way she could keep up. 

_I think I remember what I saw you trying to perform, Kakashi-sensei. I hope I do._

After Kakashi's attempt had failed, the fox had gone berserk. It had only lasted a few hours – only! – but most of the damage had been wrought in that short time. Sasuke had thrown his skill and chakra in with the rest, trying anything and everything to stop the fox. Nothing had worked, of course. All that had been accomplished was to keep the fox near the Leaf until help could come. 

_If it ever does._

The sounds began to ring clearer, louder. He was getting close. 

_Funny thing, Kakashi-sensei. The fox _did_ stop when it saw me. As if it were trying to remember something. For a few seconds, it felt like Naruto._

He'd said the name, certain his friend was inside the fox. It had stared at him a moment longer, and then it had begun to laugh. 

_Who told us that there were worse things than dying? Was it you, Kakashi-sensei?_

The fox had fixed him with that terrifying eye again, and _grinned_. And then it had blinded him. He'd awoken later, whole, healthy, able to move, and completely unable to see. And since he couldn't see, no one would let him fight. 

Weren't desperate enough, I guess. They probably are by now. 

He'd built up his chakra in the last day, restored it, replenished it, done everything possible to ensure he had enough energy. 

_Is it, though? Is it enough? You used a lot of chakra before trying this, but you're still at a higher level than I am._

Sasuke ducked instinctively, diving forwards into a defensive crouch. A chunai whistled just over his head, flattening his hair ever so slightly in the breeze it caused. Shouting surrounded him, echoes dancing through the air. The unearthly wail of the fox seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere at once, but he knew better. 

_There you are._

Eyes still closed, he stood up and began to perform the sealing jutsu. The sounds around him – save for those made by the fox – faded away to nearly nothing. Dimly, he heard those directly surrounding him attempt to form a ring of protection. Evidently, someone else had realized what he was trying to do. 

_Irrelevant._

The seals dragged at his hands, as if he had lead running through his veins instead of blood. He forced himself to continue, summoning chakra from every conceivable point in his body. 

_Almost… _

The second-to-last seal clicked into place and he turned to unerringly face the demon fox. Heat bathed his hands, and he knew it was the energy pent up within. He smiled once, and heard the fox go nearly silent. It started to run towards him. 

_You're mine, now._

He performed the last seal and shouted. 

"Release!" 

Energy flowed outward, taking his strength with it. Unable to stop himself, he fell to his knees, hands still outstretched. The fox stiffened and howled, trying to keep the energy away. 

"I was… always… stronger… than you… Dead Last…" he whispered, using a nickname for Naruto that he hadn't used in years. 

The ropes of chakra caught, tightened, and finally completed. He felt himself falling backwards, and someone abruptly caught him. 

"Is it… gone?" he whispered. 

"Sasuke-kun…" 

So Sakura had survived. He was glad. "Is… the fox…" 

"You did it," she confirmed, voice trembling. 

He felt warm. And tired. "…good…" he said distantly. "Sakura…" 

"It's okay." She pulled him closer towards her, cradling his body. "It's all right." 

He couldn't hear the fox. The only sounds were those made by the Leaf shinobi and the crackling of the flames. "Sleep now?" he asked. 

She trembled. "Yes. You can rest now, Sasuke. Rest." 

He sighed, suddenly unable to say any more. Bright darkness rushed over him, stealing sound and sensation and finally thought. 

_I can see you, Naruto. Wait for me. _

_tsuzuku_


	4. Last in the Wind: Haruno Sakura

**Last in the Wind – Haruno Sakura**

"It was hot today. The sun beat down mercilessly on our faces, our shoulders, our backs. It made it imperative that we finish the cleanup from the battle with the fox if we were to avoid contamination of our water supply. And we did. It's cruel, that we are reduced to referring to the burial of our friends as simple "cleanup", and yet that is the necessity. This is the path of the shinobi." 

Sakura laid down the pen and regarded the fresh blisters and barely-healed scratches decorating her hands. They were still graceful, but no one would call them beautiful now. The stars were barely visible through her window, obscured by a veil of mist that would have been welcome and more during the day. The heat had barely lifted, though, and she absently pushed damp hair out of her eyes before returning to the rough paper in front of her. 

"Should I explain about the fox, about my teammate and friend? Iruka-sensei told me I should write down how I feel, if I can't talk to anyone about it. I think he feels worse than I do; Naruto was … Naruto was like his kid or something. I wish I could do something to help, but I… I …" 

Sakura shook her head. It was more difficult than she expected, this business of articulating her emotions onto dry, impassive paper. 

"The fox… after Naruto died, and it returned, we fought it. Of course we fought it. Sasuke was the one that actually beat it; no one really knows exactly what he did. I know he was copying Kakashi-sensei. I don't know how I know this, I just know it. Even though he was blind, I could see the Sharingan in his eyes, and his chakra had the same feeling that swept over us just after the fox attacked us and Kakashi-sensei… lost. 

"Anyway, no one saw enough of what he did to really understand it, and since no one else here has the ability to copy a jutsu, we can't analyze it either. All we know is that it took all the strength he had. 

"And that the fox is gone. 

"We've prepared for it, of course. If it decides to come back _again_. I don't think it will, but I don't know anything. 

"The village is a mess. A lot of it was burned, or damaged in other ways. Everyone who is able to move at all is helping to put things back together, but only the shinobi bury the dead. There are so many of them. I don't even really react any more when I see a face I know. I don't know if it's good or bad; right after the battle, when I found Shikamaru, I sat down and cried. We weren't even close, but somehow it was almost worse than when Sas…" 

Sudden tears blurred Sakura's vision. Her grip tightened around the pen until it cracked in her hands, ink leaking across her skin in a mockery of the blood that had been there days before. Blinking the wetness angrily out of her eyes, she returned to the paper. 

"I found Lee-kun today. He… I didn't feel anything. I couldn't. There was nothing there. Only another grave to dig. Ino carved the name onto the stone and that was more real to me than the body in the woods. 

"I think I should feel bad about that, but I can't." 

The pen snapped in half, and Sakura pulled her hand back in just enough time to avoid ink spilling over the pages. Instead, it spattered her face and clothes. Swallowing the knot in her throat, she stood and calmly walked into the bathroom. The fresh bright blue came off her skin easily, running in spirals down the drain, but her dress refused to come clean no matter how hard she scrubbed. 

She took it off, standing in front of the sink in her underwear, working furiously at the spots of darker color. It was suddenly very important that the dress – a twin of the one she'd worn at the age of twelve, when she first became a ninja – be clean and bright. 

Her efforts were futile. She knew it. She looked up, into the mirror. Her green eyes stared back at her, dominating a face flushed with effort under matted pink hair, and as she watched, they filled with tears again. 

"Bastard!" She didn't know who she was shouting at, nor was she aware she had broken the mirror until she felt the blood slip down her clenched fists. Shards of glass decorated the sodden cloth of her dress, left haphazardly hanging over the edge of the sink. The floor crunched under her feet as she fled the room, only to stumble on the floor just beyond the threshold. 

"How could you leave me like that? How could you do it?" She slammed the floor with one hand, driving particles of glass deeper into her fist, welcoming the physical pain. "Why was it you and not me? You were always better at fighting than I was, Uchiha Sasuke!" 

Sobbing, she pulled her knees up to her chest. Hot tears slipped over her face to land on the floor. "…he didn't do anything… none of us did anything… Why did Naruto have to die, anyway?" She pulled herself into a sitting position and swiped the tears away. Faint pain across her cheek told her she'd scratched herself, but she didn't care. 

"He didn't do anything to deserve that! What did you DO that to him for, Yondaime? This is all your fault! You sealed the fox into him in the first place!" She was screaming now, not caring who heard. Energy temporarily exhausted, Sakura slumped down, forehead cradled on her arms. "I had a family. I _had_ a family. Damn… you…" 

It hurt. She hurt. The numbness had fled with a vengeance, replaced by a searing pain. A few moments ago, she would almost have given anything to be able to feel. Now, she wanted nothing more than the emptiness back. 

She closed her eyes, feeling her eyelashes cling together. 

"What am I supposed to do now?" It started as a whisper, but her voice gained strength. She sat up slowly, staring fixedly at the shadows on the far wall. "What am I supposed to do, now that my friends and family and teacher are gone? They're dead and they won't ever come back! Not ever! Is this the life of a damned shinobi? I don't want it!" She pulled the forehead protector out of her tangled hair and hurled it at the window with all the strength she possessed, and shouted. "Do you hear me? I don't want it! Give them back!" The band of cloth and metal hit the frame beneath the window and bounced off, skittering over the floor to end up somewhere in darkness. She buried her face in her hands, voice sinking almost to nothing again. "Give them back…" 

It couldn't last forever. She alternately cried, shouted, and lay utterly still, but the pain began to ease slightly, its edges masked by pure emotional and physical exhaustion. She didn't know how much later it was when she dragged herself off the floor and pulled the glass splinters out of her hands. Moving mechanically, as if she were weighted down, she shook the glass out of her dress and swept it off the floor. The dress she wedged in the trash, pushing it down as far as she could. She never wanted to wear anything like it again. 

The water in the shower felt cleansing; she let her mind go blank under the spray. Blood and dirt swirled down the drain, washing everything away. 

She found, in the back of her closet, simple dark blue pants and a matching shirt. The color – so close to the clothes Sasuke had habitually worn – sent a muted pang through her yet again. She put them back and opted for black instead. 

The sky had begun to gray in the east when she returned to the pad of paper with a fresh pen. She took a deep breath and sat down. 

"I survived. I guess it… I don't know why, but I did. I have to keep surviving. There aren't many shinobi left in Leaf Village, so everyone we have is precious. The other shinobi villages might see us as weakened…no, they _will_ see us as weakened, because we are. We have to convince them, and everybody else, that we're still strong. We have to do whatever it takes." 

It still didn't sound quite right. She chewed on the end of the pen for a moment, and then added, "We're part of the whole; each of us is necessary to the others." That wasn't quite it either. "I need the others, and they need me. Now more than ever." 

Resolutely, she set the pen down, and looked at the sky. Eggshell pink – true dawn – brightened the horizon. "It won't be easy." She nodded. Her forehead protector glinted at her from underneath the table. She picked it up and looked at it for a moment. It was dusty and dented. She brushed it off, and tied it across her forehead. "I'm Haruno Sakura, dammit. A Leaf shinobi." She nodded. That felt right. 

The door shut firmly behind her. 

_owari_


End file.
